Sunday, March 22, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Low
Yes, this is the time for an " I'm feeling low " blog. Three years of engineering life and out come the questions. Where is my life heading, What are my options, What are the paths. My mind is full of question marks that will not be processed for a while. One thing is for sure, it took me three fruitless years to realise that I'm up to no good. There is always one nagging question- Have i realised my potential , or how far am i from realising it.
It all started a few hours ago. I've learnt from trial and error not to have any regrets about anything. But every dog has its day, so they say...
The only regret i had till date was not realising my genius in 12th. I had two options then- Prepare for my boards and k-cet, or hit the jackpot by slogging it out for IIT. Apparently, i took the wrong option. And not a day goes by where i don't regret or ponder. What if , is a very dicey question. We can't help but laugh off our parents constant rambling about the opportunities we have now. It really is painful knowing they're always right. The World really is a funny place. One day , you're just whistling to yourself , enjoying the wind playing with your hairs. Next thing you know , you're being realistic! It hurts. Knowing that you could've have done more. What good is it to hope for a time machine;).
How is one to strike a compromise with the person you really are and the person you so wish you were. We are light years away. Damage control is our only go. The things i want to do now.
Wishing for once that my engineering life was over and i got a taste of practicality , a grasp on the outside world. The World really is a competitive place. I don't want to be the guy stuck in the middle of the rung , knowing (or regretting) that i might as well have been on top. The things i give significance to ,such as the time in my adolescent years where i had O.C.D , or how i couldn't be a "cool" guy. I still give significance to the most insigificant things. And now when i'm left to ponder over the "significant" decisions i made over the course of my life , i'm so very helpless.
Which brings me to this- One always relates to good music. A good tune strikes a vibe. It really is fascinating how we grow from appreciating the Backstreet Boys , then loathing them , and moving onto stuff like eminem , Bryan Adams , and then concluding that Floyd is God. I'm making this point because music has so much to do with our "identity" , much more than we give it credit for. Sure , we have phases of apprecition for other genres (in my case bluegrass country), but we don't stop experimenting for we haven't found our identity. Also worth a mention is Iron Maiden , for what they're actually saying is Go On, do your thing , and we just go aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. But this is not my identity. I'm still in the process of discovering it. The ingrediant adding spice in an unduly manner is Uncertainity. I don't want to be the one to ever have regrets , or ever ponder about how i never realised my true genius. And i don't want to be the jack of all trades. I want to be the master of one.
If only we were certain. If only.
P:S- I can't put all of it in words:P
It all started a few hours ago. I've learnt from trial and error not to have any regrets about anything. But every dog has its day, so they say...
The only regret i had till date was not realising my genius in 12th. I had two options then- Prepare for my boards and k-cet, or hit the jackpot by slogging it out for IIT. Apparently, i took the wrong option. And not a day goes by where i don't regret or ponder. What if , is a very dicey question. We can't help but laugh off our parents constant rambling about the opportunities we have now. It really is painful knowing they're always right. The World really is a funny place. One day , you're just whistling to yourself , enjoying the wind playing with your hairs. Next thing you know , you're being realistic! It hurts. Knowing that you could've have done more. What good is it to hope for a time machine;).
How is one to strike a compromise with the person you really are and the person you so wish you were. We are light years away. Damage control is our only go. The things i want to do now.
Wishing for once that my engineering life was over and i got a taste of practicality , a grasp on the outside world. The World really is a competitive place. I don't want to be the guy stuck in the middle of the rung , knowing (or regretting) that i might as well have been on top. The things i give significance to ,such as the time in my adolescent years where i had O.C.D , or how i couldn't be a "cool" guy. I still give significance to the most insigificant things. And now when i'm left to ponder over the "significant" decisions i made over the course of my life , i'm so very helpless.
Which brings me to this- One always relates to good music. A good tune strikes a vibe. It really is fascinating how we grow from appreciating the Backstreet Boys , then loathing them , and moving onto stuff like eminem , Bryan Adams , and then concluding that Floyd is God. I'm making this point because music has so much to do with our "identity" , much more than we give it credit for. Sure , we have phases of apprecition for other genres (in my case bluegrass country), but we don't stop experimenting for we haven't found our identity. Also worth a mention is Iron Maiden , for what they're actually saying is Go On, do your thing , and we just go aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. But this is not my identity. I'm still in the process of discovering it. The ingrediant adding spice in an unduly manner is Uncertainity. I don't want to be the one to ever have regrets , or ever ponder about how i never realised my true genius. And i don't want to be the jack of all trades. I want to be the master of one.
If only we were certain. If only.
P:S- I can't put all of it in words:P
Monday, March 2, 2009
I want to, but can't.
I want to drive the winding roads of life;
The ones that lead into something rife.
I want to connect with my beaten heart;
To tame it, and to make it start.
I want to reach the highest peak;
Where one will never say I'm meek.
I want to exude love and hope;
And want to want it on a downward slope.
I want to seize both night and day;
To live great moments, if i may.
I want to hold hands with the 'one';
And feel for myself, the mythical pun.
I want to be content in this game;
This topsy-turvy World is lame.
I want to be unsettled about life and cry;
But i don't want to ask myself why.
I want to talk to my shadow in dark times;
In order to erase the kernel of untold crimes.
I want to reach for the stars;
Firstly, roust those prickling scars.
I want to be bounded by reality;
Before I'm overcome by frugality.
I want to, but can't;
I would love to, but shan't.
The ones that lead into something rife.
I want to connect with my beaten heart;
To tame it, and to make it start.
I want to reach the highest peak;
Where one will never say I'm meek.
I want to exude love and hope;
And want to want it on a downward slope.
I want to seize both night and day;
To live great moments, if i may.
I want to hold hands with the 'one';
And feel for myself, the mythical pun.
I want to be content in this game;
This topsy-turvy World is lame.
I want to be unsettled about life and cry;
But i don't want to ask myself why.
I want to talk to my shadow in dark times;
In order to erase the kernel of untold crimes.
I want to reach for the stars;
Firstly, roust those prickling scars.
I want to be bounded by reality;
Before I'm overcome by frugality.
I want to, but can't;
I would love to, but shan't.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Ironed by Maiden:)
The date was 15th feb,2009. The place Bangalore.The day was surely not a Sunday, it was Iron Maiden day. The time was 20:00 hours I.S.T. But lets not get started there. The day started with loads of anticipation, expectations and forethought. And i must say that, by the end of it, I felt a sense of pride, and unfathomable joy.
The previous night was spent mostly staring at the ceiling. Sleep was minimal. Maiden Maiden Maiden were the only words being processed by my otherwise doomed mind. Three hours of sleep, followed by three hours of travel to reach the venue. But nope, i wasn't third time lucky. I missed the last time they played, in Mumbai. 17th march was special, it was everything i could ask for, but there was no reason in hell i was going to miss this. The prospect of seeing Rime of the ancient mariner live was a good enough excuse to be as excited as i was. Three hours on the damn bus, a good breakfast in the famed C.T.R and then wham, we're at the venue. There was a pretty large hoarding of Ed force one, and well, this did trigger a few emotions. We were inside the venue by 2, not before some beer circulated in our bellies. That being said, we had some Vodka inside too. It hit me pretty bad. Now the bands.
Frankly i didn't hear much. I didn't give a shit about them. I saw a few mosh pits, and wondered why.That's about it. Lauren Harris came, shook her ass and left. I could catch a glimpse of 'Arry at the sides, and "something" finally sunk in. The guitarist was gay. period. People started pushing, i hurt my leg, used a few curse words, and squeezed my way out.
It was fucking crazy. The crowd was impatient, and lauren and her so called band were at the receiving end of the crowd's version of "wrathchild". Her music didn't impress,but her ass sure did.Period.
I went back, got me some water and made it to tenth or so row by the time Parikrama started. I don't remember much from their set. The violin guy was fucking crazy. Half an hour and soon they were gone too. Shouts of maiden maiden filled the air. OH man it was killing me. The wait. 20:00 hours.
Finally doctor doctor starts playing, followed by Transylvania. I swear on God i couldn't hear Churchill's speech, for it was masked by the clutter from the crazy ass crowd. Aces high started on a high, and man was it crazy. Bruce was at his gracious best. Jumping around, swaying, moving his arms, and the emotion in his voice. Damn. They blazed away with the first three songs. Then Nicko hit the drums for the start of phantom of the opera. I won't go into the details. It was something else. It was better than all the great moments in my life till then. Respect man, respect. The first highlight of the night, one that will be etched onto my mind forever. I'm taking this with me to grave:)
The trooper was crazy. Crowd participation was good. People knew their music. I must mention the uncle ji next to me. He was just staring at the stage. No emotions. I wanted to kick this rat bastard poser in the nuts. But that feeling came and went, for Maiden soon hit the first notes of Wasted years. I must thank the guy who led me away from the mosh. Why Why Why mosh to maiden:O
I was waiting for Bruce to say- "This is what not to do when your bird shits on you". Rime is like the stairway to heaven of Maiden songs.The second highlight of the night. It was something else live. Its equal to Pink Floyd having a re-union of sorts and singing comfortably numb. 13 minutes of madness galore. What followed next were the classics. Dave nailed the solo in powerslave, Nicko hit them drums to signal the start of run to the hills. We sang Fear of the dark for Bruce, and he returned the favour with the unimaginable scream about one minute into the number of the beast. The Powerslave set looked decent, i could only see a 'not so clear' version in youtube. Harris held the bass line really steady. Adrian and Dave were at their nonchalant best. Janick -no comment. His usual self. Brilliant.
The backdrop changed for evil that men do and sanctuary, with Eddie and a starry sky behind him. Damn forgot to mention Eddie. He was damn big. BIG. The third highlight of the night was the high octaves Bruce hit on sanctuary. I've never heard anything so loud. I am a spiritual person, bordering on agnoism. But i sure did see the Gods. My night was incomplete though. To top it all up, dinner was a zinger meal at K.F.C. Divine intervention in all its sublimity.
A sublime night. A night that will hold lots of memories, for many a night.
P:S- One can sense the pride in Bruce's face when he's waving the union jack. If only we could feel an iota of pride with the Tricolour. If not for the tainted politics.
The previous night was spent mostly staring at the ceiling. Sleep was minimal. Maiden Maiden Maiden were the only words being processed by my otherwise doomed mind. Three hours of sleep, followed by three hours of travel to reach the venue. But nope, i wasn't third time lucky. I missed the last time they played, in Mumbai. 17th march was special, it was everything i could ask for, but there was no reason in hell i was going to miss this. The prospect of seeing Rime of the ancient mariner live was a good enough excuse to be as excited as i was. Three hours on the damn bus, a good breakfast in the famed C.T.R and then wham, we're at the venue. There was a pretty large hoarding of Ed force one, and well, this did trigger a few emotions. We were inside the venue by 2, not before some beer circulated in our bellies. That being said, we had some Vodka inside too. It hit me pretty bad. Now the bands.
Frankly i didn't hear much. I didn't give a shit about them. I saw a few mosh pits, and wondered why.That's about it. Lauren Harris came, shook her ass and left. I could catch a glimpse of 'Arry at the sides, and "something" finally sunk in. The guitarist was gay. period. People started pushing, i hurt my leg, used a few curse words, and squeezed my way out.
It was fucking crazy. The crowd was impatient, and lauren and her so called band were at the receiving end of the crowd's version of "wrathchild". Her music didn't impress,but her ass sure did.Period.
I went back, got me some water and made it to tenth or so row by the time Parikrama started. I don't remember much from their set. The violin guy was fucking crazy. Half an hour and soon they were gone too. Shouts of maiden maiden filled the air. OH man it was killing me. The wait. 20:00 hours.
Finally doctor doctor starts playing, followed by Transylvania. I swear on God i couldn't hear Churchill's speech, for it was masked by the clutter from the crazy ass crowd. Aces high started on a high, and man was it crazy. Bruce was at his gracious best. Jumping around, swaying, moving his arms, and the emotion in his voice. Damn. They blazed away with the first three songs. Then Nicko hit the drums for the start of phantom of the opera. I won't go into the details. It was something else. It was better than all the great moments in my life till then. Respect man, respect. The first highlight of the night, one that will be etched onto my mind forever. I'm taking this with me to grave:)
The trooper was crazy. Crowd participation was good. People knew their music. I must mention the uncle ji next to me. He was just staring at the stage. No emotions. I wanted to kick this rat bastard poser in the nuts. But that feeling came and went, for Maiden soon hit the first notes of Wasted years. I must thank the guy who led me away from the mosh. Why Why Why mosh to maiden:O
I was waiting for Bruce to say- "This is what not to do when your bird shits on you". Rime is like the stairway to heaven of Maiden songs.The second highlight of the night. It was something else live. Its equal to Pink Floyd having a re-union of sorts and singing comfortably numb. 13 minutes of madness galore. What followed next were the classics. Dave nailed the solo in powerslave, Nicko hit them drums to signal the start of run to the hills. We sang Fear of the dark for Bruce, and he returned the favour with the unimaginable scream about one minute into the number of the beast. The Powerslave set looked decent, i could only see a 'not so clear' version in youtube. Harris held the bass line really steady. Adrian and Dave were at their nonchalant best. Janick -no comment. His usual self. Brilliant.
The backdrop changed for evil that men do and sanctuary, with Eddie and a starry sky behind him. Damn forgot to mention Eddie. He was damn big. BIG. The third highlight of the night was the high octaves Bruce hit on sanctuary. I've never heard anything so loud. I am a spiritual person, bordering on agnoism. But i sure did see the Gods. My night was incomplete though. To top it all up, dinner was a zinger meal at K.F.C. Divine intervention in all its sublimity.
A sublime night. A night that will hold lots of memories, for many a night.
P:S- One can sense the pride in Bruce's face when he's waving the union jack. If only we could feel an iota of pride with the Tricolour. If not for the tainted politics.
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