Lust?

 Excerpt 1:

I've always believed that true love can be found. I had no misconceptions about love, lust, or the likes. And the first time 'it' happened, turned out to be the last time. The girl was 'complicated' in many ways. But the thing that mattered most to me was that i was happy. I loved spending time with her, listening to music, watching t.v shows together, cooking sometimes, and dreaming about cuddling up in bed.

It all started in the month of October. A mutual friend told me that she had a little crush on me, (which i didn't quite believe at first) and she was planning on meeting and telling me. Actually it was the other way around. I told a mutual friend that I had a crush on her.So a date was fixed, where in i was stood up.
I managed to convince her to go out with me, and soon we had a 'connection' of sorts,and despite the awkwardness that followed, I managed to open up quite a bit. Being Insecure was my thing, till about then. I matured a bit more as a person, i figure. She never failed to calm me, when i was angry about things. I realised that 'this' was something special, simply because i was happier as a person.
And since i couldn't give 'this' a meaningful term, I called it love. And so did she. As the days rolled by, and seasons came and went, we were in what people call a 'relationship'. Sleepless nights were a plenty. Rolling on both sides in bed, wondering what she'd be doing now, perpetually calling her even when i didn't have to. It was another issue she didn't pick the calls. She was busy with house work, i figured.This was the order of the day.

Often, we'd hold hands, swing them by our sides, and walk into the distance. We'd look for eternity at the stars, all the while sure that this was no 'infatuation'. Sometimes, I'd bend in to kiss her, only to be disappointed, as she'd back away. Both of us would be nervous. Me, because i did not quite know how to make a move, while she, because she just wasn't 'ready'. This was to be a special event for her.Nevertheless, I understood, or at least tried to. (All guys don't think with their dicks:p ) I felt this was the only thing missing in our relationship. And as you all know, all good things come crashing down, like Murphy's adage. We broke up, for reasons best left un-menitoned. I was left scarred for months. I felt 'Incomplete'. I cried myself to sleep for nights together.



Excerpt 2:

I was having my customary whiskey on the rocks one fine evening,.My friend happened to drag me to a Disco. I was reluctant. I didn't like the music they play, or those bright ass lights they use. But somehow, I agreed to give him company. We entered, ordered a few beers, and voila! I spotted a few hot chicks in skimpy clothes. I've my own perceptions of the word slutty, what's right or wrong, etc etc, but as is always the case, alcohol changes perceptions:P. I got 'introduced' to one good  looking girl with the customary 'Hi, how are you?', and a peck on the cheek.

The dj got the night rolling. Soon i realised that i was 'dancing' with her. I could smell the booze all over her. I decided not to take advantage of her in any which way. But she kept coming up beside me, while i tried keeping my distance. Soon, my hands were over her in areas I'd never dreamt i'd 'feel'. She didn't seem to mind it, and soon, I was cupping her backside.
She took me aside, told me to step outside with her, which i obliged. I was led outside, where, next thing i know, she grabbed at my hair, pulled me forward, and impinged her lips onto mine. Soon, we were grabbing each other, and heaven's doors were opened. I didn't even have to knock.
I felt a tenderness like i've never felt or imagined before. I pulled her onto me in a flash, and gave her some of my own version of mouth to mouth. We repeated this a few times, and i felt a 'surge' of hormones awakening my 'organ'.
When we finally parted, I said bye and so did she. We never asked each others names, or phone numbers.
I felt guilty and elated at the same time. Things were never so complicated and easy at the same time.
Here was a girl,  responsible for my first kiss and the feelings it invoked, but i'll probably never see her again.

As the girl moves on from one 'random guy' to another, oblivious to what she's done to transform me, my perceptions of the word 'slut', 'bitch', loyalty, and guilt change forever. I now seek lust. Perhaps, this will 'complete' me.

p:s- Excerpt 1 was written by allan harper when he was 20, and excerpt 2 by charlie harper when he was 12. Charlie found 'excerpt' 1 near his bedside table a few days ago, and swears that allan has mostly lied about his realationship:P . Allan always failed to calm his 'girlfriend', when she'd get angry for every which reason possible. Charlie also claims that Allan would look for eternity at the stars, wondering why he's so miserable in the first place. He was portraying a 'stable' man image. Allan does still remain scarred, often reminded in ghastly dreams about how the girl was repelled by his 'moving in for the kiss' action.

p:p:s- Those who don't know these characters, please watch two and a half men, pronto!