The unknown soldier

He awakes to deafening gunfire
Rattled he always is.
Circumstances are often dire
What good to yearn for a kiss.
Mud water passes as soup
He gulps it down with disregard.
War has trapped him in a coop
His family has been hit hard.
The battlefield is now his home
And war is an excuse to fight.
He's never used his pocket comb
For there isn't a mirror in sight.
He crawls through the muck
To throw them grenades and kill.
Sure there is an agent called luck
But the driving force is will.
He hears the trampling of many feet
But not a man in his firing range.
He's hoping to be very discrete
In order to attack and derange.
He has been shot in the chest
A stray bullet gone astray.
But the coin in the pocket of his breast
has kept him from falling prey.
He looks into the night sky
With a new found respect for life.
Whilst another bullet pierces his thigh
And he loses out on all thats rife.
He is yet another victim of war
Once honoured and now suppressed.
The only question asked is 'what for'
His free soul is still possessed.

For he is the unknown soldier
And unknown he will forever be...

Gothenburg:)

Low

Yes, this is the time for an " I'm feeling low " blog. Three years of engineering life and out come the questions. Where is my life heading, What are my options, What are the paths. My mind is full of question marks that will not be processed for a while. One thing is for sure, it took me three fruitless years to realise that I'm up to no good. There is always one nagging question- Have i realised my potential , or how far am i from realising it.
It all started a few hours ago. I've learnt from trial and error not to have any regrets about anything. But every dog has its day, so they say...
The only regret i had till date was not realising my genius in 12th. I had two options then- Prepare for my boards and k-cet, or hit the jackpot by slogging it out for IIT. Apparently, i took the wrong option. And not a day goes by where i don't regret or ponder. What if , is a very dicey question. We can't help but laugh off our parents constant rambling about the opportunities we have now. It really is painful knowing they're always right. The World really is a funny place. One day , you're just whistling to yourself , enjoying the wind playing with your hairs. Next thing you know , you're being realistic! It hurts. Knowing that you could've have done more. What good is it to hope for a time machine;).
How is one to strike a compromise with the person you really are and the person you so wish you were. We are light years away. Damage control is our only go. The things i want to do now.
Wishing for once that my engineering life was over and i got a taste of practicality , a grasp on the outside world. The World really is a competitive place. I don't want to be the guy stuck in the middle of the rung , knowing (or regretting) that i might as well have been on top. The things i give significance to ,such as the time in my adolescent years where i had O.C.D , or how i couldn't be a "cool" guy. I still give significance to the most insigificant things. And now when i'm left to ponder over the "significant" decisions i made over the course of my life , i'm so very helpless.
Which brings me to this- One always relates to good music. A good tune strikes a vibe. It really is fascinating how we grow from appreciating the Backstreet Boys , then loathing them , and moving onto stuff like eminem , Bryan Adams , and then concluding that Floyd is God. I'm making this point because music has so much to do with our "identity" , much more than we give it credit for. Sure , we have phases of apprecition for other genres (in my case bluegrass country), but we don't stop experimenting for we haven't found our identity. Also worth a mention is Iron Maiden , for what they're actually saying is Go On, do your thing , and we just go aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. But this is not my identity. I'm still in the process of discovering it. The ingrediant adding spice in an unduly manner is Uncertainity. I don't want to be the one to ever have regrets , or ever ponder about how i never realised my true genius. And i don't want to be the jack of all trades. I want to be the master of one.
If only we were certain. If only.
P:S- I can't put all of it in words:P

I want to, but can't.

I want to drive the winding roads of life;
The ones that lead into something rife.
I want to connect with my beaten heart;
To tame it, and to make it start.
I want to reach the highest peak;
Where one will never say I'm meek.
I want to exude love and hope;
And want to want it on a downward slope.
I want to seize both night and day;
To live great moments, if i may.
I want to hold hands with the 'one';
And feel for myself, the mythical pun.
I want to be content in this game;
This topsy-turvy World is lame.
I want to be unsettled about life and cry;
But i don't want to ask myself why.
I want to talk to my shadow in dark times;
In order to erase the kernel of untold crimes.
I want to reach for the stars;
Firstly, roust those prickling scars.
I want to be bounded by reality;
Before I'm overcome by frugality.
I want to, but can't;
I would love to, but shan't.