I want to, but can't.

I want to drive the winding roads of life;
The ones that lead into something rife.
I want to connect with my beaten heart;
To tame it, and to make it start.
I want to reach the highest peak;
Where one will never say I'm meek.
I want to exude love and hope;
And want to want it on a downward slope.
I want to seize both night and day;
To live great moments, if i may.
I want to hold hands with the 'one';
And feel for myself, the mythical pun.
I want to be content in this game;
This topsy-turvy World is lame.
I want to be unsettled about life and cry;
But i don't want to ask myself why.
I want to talk to my shadow in dark times;
In order to erase the kernel of untold crimes.
I want to reach for the stars;
Firstly, roust those prickling scars.
I want to be bounded by reality;
Before I'm overcome by frugality.
I want to, but can't;
I would love to, but shan't.