Time to move on

I am moving to Wordpress. This is a closed chapter now.

Why?

Because it just doesn't seem right, it's a different phase of life now, and I feel I've ended my whole 'Life is complicated, wtf am I going to do' phase.

How?

Perspectives change, I am exposed to a whole new World now; There is some clarity, there is a direction, there is a destination. I was simply closed out to a number of possibilities. I no longer am.

Where?
http://insipidkish.wordpress.com 

The World According to Garp: A review

I've been reading a lot lately. Quick update: I quit work on 17th june, and have been chilling at home in Mysore for a couple of months. It's gratifying to some extent as I can afford to wake up around lunch time and wonder: How much do I not do today?
Recently, I read Irving's "The 158 pound Marriage" and was blown away, as a result of which my Irving obsession was born. I had heard a lot of things about "The World according to Garp", and was getting started on it with the right expectations.
When One decides to read Irving, It is important to note that there will be a lot of Sexuality. Simply put,It is his forte. There will also be a lot of Vienna and Wrestling to go with it just to stir the pot a bit. The World According to Garp is one of the best novels I have ever read. I don't care much for plots and adrenalin rushes. Such things are reserved for Forsyth novels (A genre I have archived years back). Sure, one may find the occasional novel with a few twists and turns, a high speed chase, a murder mystery where we're led on to believe that a certain someone is a wrong suspect, or a Real Life Drama about the strings of Love and Trust, and how these 'words' play out quite wonderfully on paper. But to me, a real killer novel is one with a deep character analysis, one that allows us to invoke "imagery" to such an extent that we can actually 'see' emotions.

The first bit of the book is about Jenny Fields, A nurse based out of Boston who is content being a nurse. She despises men, considers them a social stigma. She doesn't understand lust, the need for it, the effects, the result. Jenny decides to have a baby. But she doesn't want anything to do with the father. Thus is born T.S Garp, a Bastard who is never told who the Father is. Jenny Fields raises him on her own. Garp's trysts with Sex start in Vienna, the city where Jenny pens her autobiography, one that makes her famous and helps garner a prominent feminist movement. Jenny writes: " I wanted a job and I wanted to live alone. That made me a sexual suspect. Then I wanted a baby, but I didn't want to share my body or my life to have one. That made me a sexual suspect, too." The book gives Jenny all the feminist support in the World, described with much ardour by Irving. Her fame also spells her downfall, which is to be expected because if you have feminism, you have anti-feminism as well.
I feel that Jenny's way of Life slowly but surely reaches out to Garp and his way of thinking. At one point, When Garp is spotted at a feminist funeral (Though he tried his best at Crossdressing), He tries to quickly hail a taxi outside. the Driver, unaware of course of his sex, tries to chat him up. Garp felt violated and uncomfortable, perhaps a reminder to him about how women are targeted on a daily basis.
Garp is an author as well. His world is manifested in his work. His fears aplenty. Garp is constantly reminded about loss. You can sense as you read along that His fears are Irving's fears.
I don't think I can even write about the relevance of this book in this day and age. I think Garp is trying to tell us to all worry. To worry about the future, to worry about people close to us and people that matter. To worry about love, marriage and Death.
Garp's obsession with death never ceases to amaze me. I think it echoes through us all.
I also think one should buy the book asap and read along:
Flipkart link

I also believe all of you'll will agree that 'In the World according to Garp', we are indeed terminal cases!

Conan's goals are my goals as well!

Conan O Brian has given me reason to believe that it's perfectly okay to have no direction in Life! After watching the initial part of his Commencement speech at Dartmouth, I had reason enough to believe that it was not a special delivery. As one would expect, it had a fair share of humour, dark albeit brilliant at that. He was pretty much playing out the Tonight Show on the podium. But then it got interesting towards the end (See for yourself)
Conan's speech!.
When I was a kid, all I wanted to do was to learn to ride the Bicycle my Dad had bought me. At that point of time, All i wanted to do was to ride it out on my own; To feel "cool" like the other kids on the block. Perhaps, my realm of finding something to be content about was restricted and bounded by what I could perceive to be real.
My dad would pretend to hold the back of the seat and run along as i cruised into the distance; I would always be led on to believe that i was not doing this on my own. This stayed on for a couple of nights, until one fine evening I turned back to look that my dad was watching from a fair distance. It seemed quite unbelievable to me for I always thought that I'd need to conjure something magical to learn how to balance a Bicycle. To be frank, I was mighty frightened I'd fall, the mental demons were playing their games and playing them well. It really was one of the most amazing moments of my childhood. I had successfully managed to learn to balance a Cycle, and was doing it on my own!!
To this day, I believe that once you're led on to something and you're doing quite beautifully, it is quite natural that you may be thrown outside your comfort zone, but you need to feel confident enough to realize you have already done all the hard work and you're almost near the finish line.
As i grew older and wiser, I knew that I wanted to become a "somebody" who would do "something" that eventually got me rich. We all live in a materialistic world where it's hard to live without getting influenced by money or equivalents of money. All Kids (to this day) would want to end up with a lot of greens! But back then, we wouldn't know what or how. There may be some three year olds who'd want to be Fire-fighters and save the world, but they don't know shit :D.
I think I was 12 when I my mom told me about the IIT's and the IIM's. She sure as hell painted me a nice picture and made it seem that it was the way to go to achieve my "dreams"; Ones drawn for me by my mom. I had no identity of my own. I used to play fairly decent Cricket in an Indoor badminton court, scored a 400 well before Lara and voila. I had set my mind on being a cricketer. Then there was a phase where my friend's dad took me to the golf course. I was fascinated by the lush greens, the Bunkers and the roughs, the follow through of the Golf stick. So much so, I stole a couple of Golf balls, learnt the rules of the game by constantly watching T.V, planted a Par-3 golf course on the front garden and religiously played every evening till tennis got the better of me. I always had a sense that I was cut out to be a Sportsman. The competitive nature of Sport always drew me to it. But I guess I couldn't find one to stick to, and that was probably my problem.
Then there was a brief time wherein I was fascinated with aeroplanes, Everything about them. The wide bodies, the Cruising speeds, the double decker 747s, the magnificent livery, and what not. I decided that flying planes was too risky :D. So why not just become an aeronautical engineer?
Through School and most of college, I was a genius with Numbers. I could play them and they could play me. But I never quite figured out What future numbers have for me. (Finance perhaps, but something tells me that isn't going to happen). Then I aced my Undergrad entrance test, And I was told that Electronics was the best option for me. Four years of that Crap gave me enough reasons to believe I am not a technical person.
It was at a traffic signal a few years ago that had a profound impact on my future, or let me say, my perceived future. I decided that I was meant to be a good Managerial person. That's all I had to work with.
I then took up a job with IBM, where I still had wrong notions about what kind of roles I may apply for at the organisation. Having watched Wimbledon all through the years, all I pretty much cared about was somehow representing IBM at the event. That was the pinnacle for me. Some things just don't happen!
The important thing is I have learnt to live with defeats. These different phases in life; Coupled with not so realistic dreams add on beautifully to 'define' you. To give you an identity. Something to work with. Now that's a start.
I have been fortunate enough to learn the e-procurement cycle of Unilever at my job. And now, I probably want to be a Supply chain consultant. I am heading to Marseille to learn a few new things about International Business. Maybe my dreams will take a turn for the worse. Only time will tell. But who knows: Maybe I will end up working in the logistics division at Airbus; This way I am closer to planes. I get to travel the world. Sign deals, make some money; and use that money to Watch Federer and Nadal in action, at another Wimbledon final.
Or maybe I will do something else. I'm not sure, and I don't care. I am ready to adapt. The process is in place. Nothing can go wrong.

Slow Man

J.M Coetzee is as reclusive as they get. Honorary Doctorates from ten or so Universities. I must say that there is an aura about his writing that can't be explained. The first author to win two Booker's, His books aren't easy reads as such. You tend to ask yourself if such a mysterious man can write so beautifully. The Imagery is quite brilliant, as is his play of words. I tend to believe that his Life's lessons are reflected in his books.Coetzee's dedication to his personal regime and writing is unmatched.
Slow man was a delightful read, to say the least. The Protagonist is Paul Rayment, a French man in his sixties who has moved to Adelaide. It seems as though Paul has no regrets about Life. Single, Unmarried, with nothing to look forward to but a 'Daily Routine', Cycling through the streets of Adelaide,running daily errands, and delving into Photography. Then all changes in an instant when his Leg is amputated as a result of an Accident. His live takes various twists and turns; Having to live and accept the situation and reflect on a Lost Legacy, or the lack of it, Marijana, a paid nurse is asked to take care of him and his stump.
Rayment soon develops sexual feelings for her; This is coupled with his inability to move out of bed, He is now left to her disposal. Rayment doesn't quite accept his impending doom. Once, he was in the position to grapple with his indepence, but now He has to dig deep and do what is right. Marijana is happily married with a Kid named Drago; Rayment feels a need to be grateful, so he offers to take care of Drago's education and future. He proclaims his love for Marijana. Coetzee does a great job at explaining how events take a turn for the worse. Love, Hope and delusions dictate Paul'sheart. Marijana's husband begins to suspect the worst, and Paul has to contend with Losing everything. Until Elizabeth Costello comes into the picture and tweeks things a bit:)

It is best if I don't explain how lovely this book is. It is a master-piece in every sense. I promise you that you will close the book with a smile on your face, relating yourself to what is played out and understanding what goes into writing such an eminent book, so real and powerful that you actually wonder what it's like to be Paul.

Monday- Like every other day?

Time for my next post I guess. I always have an urge to write something but somehow, I don't. It's been like this for a while now.Maybe so, because All I feel like writing about is how the montony is just so thick.
Anyway, Last Monday, I got off work relatively early, Headed home around 6. Sat my ass on the couch,switched on the tv, and thought to myself-Wait, this isn't right! I wondered for a while what I'd do for the duration of the evening; This was new to me.My job requires me to stay way past 8 on most days, where in I'd quietly slide home, tired and sleepy, and quickly slide into bed.
I decided to go take a walk outside (This isn't unfamiliar territory, One would think). I started walking down Sampige road towards Mantri mall.A cool breeze was blowing across the Road. The clouds were darkening, and trees swaying: Left to Right, as if they were willing to accept whatever the sky threw at them.The hawkers by the side of the road were trying to gather their belongings and move to safety. Then word came around like a domino effect from behind me that Cops were passing by.One by one, hawkers packed off and disappeared. A few were still trying to make a quick buck but they sauntered off as well. I crossed the road with a strange sense of elation. Maybe it was the smell of rain and what comes with it, Or the sight of vibrant colours from the Green of the swaying trees, the yellow of Blossoming flowers and the Red of Car tail-lights. There was this old rustic second hand bookstore that caught my attention; I quickly slid in before the
downpour got the better of me. From Sci-Fi to Romance, there were quite a few novels spread out on tiny racks. Reading spree that I was on (Two novels in the last 5 months :P), I managed to "bargain" with the Store Rep and picked up a John Irving for 120 bucks. As I was playing with it, taking in the overwhelming Scent only a very old-ass book can give you, a tiny little cockroach dropped to the floor and scrambled away. I couldn't help but smile to myself. Quite plausibly, this book might have never been removed from it's resting place. MAYBE it was passed on from another bookstore, or a previous owner. It really is gratifying when you pay for something you're surely going to keep.
I wouldn't quite say this is breaking the monotony; This was more like a chain of small micro-events lined up together and blending in perfectly, each doing it's bit to help.
I realised that it is very important to cherish the small things Life throws at you. Often, We are so caught up in the motions of everyday life that we forget that It does give us something, as long as we are willing to take it.
As I waited for the elevator when I was back home, for the first time ever, I banged my head against the door!!!

Long Overdue

It's been so fucking long. New Year's eve went by in a heartbeat, and it's hard to believe we're already almost into March. A lot has happened since New Years. Those stupid ass resolutions are just what we say/portray to make us feel good about ourselves. Work is the shite, if you know what I mean. I managed to get my GMAT out of the way, and now have to get rolling on the applications to make it in time For September. My hopes are pinned on France, and hopefully I'll have some good news by Mid-April. 

I would like to talk about some interesting events which helped me gain a broader perspective about Life and it's hideous games. There is some stuff going on at Work, and I don't like where it's going. Unlike in other aspects of Day to Day life, it's hard to pitch an outcry against things that don't seem right. Basically, you're like a prostitute, getting paid every month to do what you're told to do. There is something about 'Work Pressure', and what it embodies, that makes you realise that you got to do IT, even though it doesn't make sense any sense whatsoever. Even if it asks you some really tough Questions, you just have to tell yourself that the things you're doing that do not make you feel 'good' are only on the WEEKDAYS! 


I did get to see Bryan Adams play out to a solid crowd at Palace Grounds. He's been one of my favourite singers for a long time now. I always wanted to see him Live. I remember back in 8th, I'd play "The Best of Me" cassette over and over . Back then, I was care-free, fascinated with POP, Soft Rock and no idea about any other Genres. But I knew that Adams was the man to see simply because of these lines- 
"when you can see your unborn children in her eyes 
You know you really love a woman"

As a 13 year old, actually believing that this is what Love is, and even to this day I'd like to think that This is what the real deal is. I got goosebumps when he started singing the first verses of "I'm ready" and  Please forgive me. It was like an endless dream, not to be compared with the craziness of Iron Maiden, but unique and sublime in its simplicity. Music is the simplest Emotion:)

In other news, A friend of mine went to Israel on work. He'd taken a little Stone from Mysore with him. this is from the all of us to a man of kindness and Humility, and the Greatness that is much more than a movie.

Schindler's list is more like an experience, one that will bring you to your knees at the end and make you shed a few tears. All of us feel so strongly about this Man (even though Schindler's ark portrays him in a 'lesser' sense). So this is for the Movie, For humility, and for a Right Way to lead life!

This post is for all those people who have been friends for a long time, whose friendship draws from things they share in common, be it Iron Maiden, the same taste in Food, books, views on life, or the 'I love that movie' for example Schindler's List. I hope that each one of you cherish what you have for as long as it lasts.

'cause Friendship is the roots of the Big banyan tree that we associate with Life. Cheers!

P:S- I am back:P

BLANK

There was a re-assuring calm around and about the Ocean.  The waves were striking at the rocks. In the distance, the gleaming lights of the approaching ships, coupled with the Bright setting Sun diving sharply into the Horizon, only augmented the Beauty. Here I was, on the Beach, A single malt on the rocks in hand. No complaints. The liquid was precious. The Golden Colours dancing and playing with my head. The Sun's reflection on the Ice cubes accentuated the feeling that was what It was. As I was finishing my drink, the Bartender pops a Champagne bottle and passes me a note. It reads- "To an eventful evening, Love- S". Before I can ask him where it's from, he's gone. I turn around to check but I see nothing. For a while, I sit and wonder who Could it be, but my mind is blank.
I'm feeling nervy and edgy. My body exudes a chill and the Hair on my neck Stands erect. All this in the mediterranean. I have no reason to be nervous. But yet I am. I am confronted by the Demons of my past. I shed a tear, and quickly wipe it off. I don't want to be reminded about my nemesis or my parched past. It was a long time ago. Things have changed. It was only after she left that I started feeling Uneasy about most things. I didn't want to ruin a perfectly Good evening. I gulped down the last portion of my drink, and got up from the wholesome Chair that was my home for the last couple of hours.
Who could it be, i wondered. I just hoped it wasn't her. But yet I wished It was.
As I made an effort to walk up to the Clubhouse, I was approached by a fine young gal, who sauntered across without an effort. Her face had the symmetry unheard of. Her eyebrows and those deep blue oceans gave me the shiver. Her skin was that Olive you dream of seeing. She stood about a foot away, and bent forward as though she wanted to whisper something in my ear. I took the cue and bent inwards. I was met by a soft tenderness followed by an exchange of fluids. 
We made out for a while; the passion building up. The Breathing was getting heavier. I didn't want this moment to pass. I wanted to be young again. I held her waist and pulled her towards me. She told me to follow her back for a Night Cap. I obeyed. I was in a trance. I was feeling nervous again. Jittery to say the least. I didn't have to be, I figured. It was way back, I have changed now. It is a different me. I tried telling myself this, as she led me away. Sensing my nervous energy, she smiled and said- The Night is still young..
Little did I know that there wasn't a past, one that gave me the chills, there was No Gal in her 20's, and the note that said 'To an eventful evening' wasn't even a note.Schizophrenic I was, but wasn't :)

Guest Post: A woman

There are so many layers to her.The sooner you peel each layer off and start to understand it,there's
another waiting for you.She wants to be loved to be understood. A woman...a subtle thing in her own
right. She'll laugh with you,she'll cry with you.


Eve,the first woman God created ate the apple.Was she sinner,nay i think not.She just did what
was right."She" is a force to be reckoned with.Men have plundered and pillaged her throughout the
years,does she back down.No...she's back with a fury,another layer surfacing with an intensity never
seen before.


She can tempt you and she can please you with a wink of an eye.All you can do is sit and ogle like a petty
fool.


She's yang and she's yin.


Hell hath no fury like a women's scorn they say but heaven hath no love like a women's warm
embrace.She's a mother,lover and a homemaker.A multi faceted being who can twist and mould any
man's dream with a twirl of her finger.


she is the opressed and the sufferrer as well.Suffering from the cold and clammy clutches of a swarthy
man.She knows she doesn't deserve this.Every scream and bellow extingushes that flame within her bit
by bit till in the end there is just a single souless being residing within her.The man or rather the men
doing this feel like kings.Barbarians ravaging across a land they think they own.A false sense of "owning"
this is.


On the other hand there are "those" who make men feel like there's no tomorrow.Every cell in her being
wants to love him to bits.


In the end all i'd like to say is that she is an adventure,a trip of a lifetime and a mystery i can hardly
fathom.




P.S- Nickil Somanna says he could've done this more justice if he hadn't run out of cigs. I agree :P

Life as we know it

The past week has been brilliant. But the mood right now is sombre. This phase of life encompasses the weekdays and the weekends. (As does every-other phase), the only difference being, Friday night is chill and Sunday night is WTF!OMG not again! I'm already finished with six months of work. Obviously was hard moving into that City if you can call it one. 

There was a time around two months back when I'd convinced myself that I'd hit a low, career wise. I tried out a few other comanies, made it to the last Round on two separate instances. There was a time when I told myself that 'I deserve better things'. I don't know why. I was happy with my IBM position for the better half of my stint, yet, somewhere, somehow, I sensed that I wanted something more. That's the problem with people dealing with this "Cross-Roads" of life. One doesn't make things happen, he expects them to happen. He doesn't factor in time, luck, effort, and all other essential variables. The Big question- 'What do i want to do/become'? haunts you down when you're in the most happy moods and eats at you. You begin to think about angles when there isn't one.

What i'm probably trying to say/Ramble about is that it's important that you realise that you are the master of your own fate and destiny. And there are probably a million different ways to set about doing it. It's up to you to figure out the best. In the end I believe that One's search for happiness is not a search. You need to follow your passions and do things you're comfortable doing. You need to be in control of things you can be in control of! End of story.

That being said, I'm looking forward to things changing, a Good Gmat score followed by a decent time in Europe. I'm being in control, no?

Random-5

• Now it's time to write naan-sense again. Last week at work, there was this one 'corporate' bugger who happened to walk down beside me for lunch. The thing about how 'professional' the IT dudes are-  They pretend to be something they're not. For instance, this chap had all his mannerisms intact with the silly americanised excuse me's and sorrys. All of this at Work. But I heard him Burping repeatedly outside our building. No sorrys eh, bugger? :D
• Speaking of Corporate, I think it's Bhandarkar's worst movie. 
• I actually made a promise to myself that I wouldn't watch any Bollywood movies after watching 'Love Aj kal'. But my cousin managed to get me to watch Golmaal 3. Worst decision ever! Worst 70 bucks spent ever. I actually wouldn't mind buying beedi packets and giving it off to those sad-ass auto drivers.
• I actually think Golmaal 3 was worse than ClockWork Orange.
• If I somehow win the lottery or make some Money on the Vegas Strip, I'd like to make Golmaal-4. I'd w ant for it to suck so bad that these Dumbasses would stop considering making Sequels ever again!
• Only if Golmaal-4 makes it to Cannes or Sundance will I consider making the next version or negotiate with the Big Studios. Else, the Big Finger to you all. Bye.

L'Auberge Espanyol

It's been way too long since I put up a post, and now there'll be a string of posts to compensate. I've never done a movie review before. I figure 'L'Auberge Espanyol' a.k.a 'The Spanish Hostel' is a good start. 
This Spanish experience reminds me for some reason of 'A Good Year' of the Ridley Scott fame. Shot in the majestic mediterranean city of Barcelona, It gives you a feel for the Catalan culture and way of life. The message portrayed is pretty much the same. Sticking to one's roots, finding love and solace, Friendship and trust. 

The protagonists are Romain Duris as Xavier, a cheeky French lad in his mid 20's going through what one would call A mid-life crisis. He's leading a not so happy life in the city of Love-Paris. He's in love with the most desirable Audrey Tatu- who plays Martine, your typical French chick in 'Love', the works! Xavier decides that his life lacks direction so he heads up to Barcelona as part of an exchange program, as he's told it is a pre-requisite for a job with the French Government. So he leaves his caring mother and girlfriend behind, with hopes for a better future. 
On the flight he meets a French couple, and they convince him to stay in their flat. With no place to stay and immediate future uncertain, he agrees to stay and sleep on the couch. He soon feels a slight attraction for Anne-Sophie, and is mindful of the fact that he is in a long distance relationship, so he stays away. Anne is not familiar with Spanish, but Xavier is able to pick things up soon. Cedric Klapisch, the Director, has done a remarkable job in showing how things drift apart, and how distance acts like a kind of barrier for a relationship. 
Xavier decides to move into an apartment with six other people from all over Europe. Together they bond, live through each other's problems and idiosyncrasies. Xavier's distance caters to a growing 'distance' in his love for Martine, and soon they are Kaput! Meanwhile, Xavier discovers that one of his room-mate's a lesbian, so things get a little weird. One night, they get to talking and she tells him precisely how to work a girl.

                                                                 
His lust and yearn for Anne Sophie grows, and soon he is oblivious in that he doesn't honour 'Marriage' and what it stands for. There is a lovely scene with "lust" written all over it. Xavier and Anne are taking an evening walk, when he grabs her behind firmly in such a way that she is unable to move, she arches her hip forward and they end up making love, all the while realising that it is wrong.
L'Auberge Espanyol is about finding your holding ground, leaving things you're familiar with, adapting to variants in environment. It's about leaving, getting back, going about in circles, and much more. It is about how a bond grows, how Friendship is so important. More importantly, it is about following your passions! It is a must watch
rating- 8/10




                                 

John Williams

What's in a name, you may ask? This isn't just about John Williams. It is about the greatness of the Schindler's list sound-track. When you're sitting down at work in a sombre mood, listening to 'I could have done more', with a knot in your throat, and the tears are almost on the way, you have nothing else to do but simply ask yourself- What is there to crib about in this materialistic World where Technology dominates mankind. Money is moved around. People get broke everyday. Some turn overnight millionaires in the "Vegas Strip". Dreams are broken, and new ones are born. You wonder what we're complaining about when we have everything, or at least a glimpse of it. You ask yourself what the Jews had then? They have a land of righteousness now. 

You know the greatness of music if it can ask you such questions.

Guess Post- Time Pass

First cigarette

You might wonder with all the warning signs and public awareness ads people still continue to smoke cigarettes.

I'll tell you why I like smoking a cigarette.

I love that light headed feeling after you get after you smoke your first cigarette of the day,I'm not a "regular"smoker persay but i love having that "occasional cigarette" when i'm bored or drinking a nice mug of cold beer.

I'm smoking a nice B n H while i'm writing this.The whole process from lighting a cigarette to stubbing it out is an experience of sorts.I love watching the smoke twirl around in the air forming patterns and designs enticing your mind.

When you take in your first "drag" you forget everything around you.I know I cant put it in words. A cup of tea in your other hand just makes the experience a more magical one. Your throat burning with the smoke and the liquid.Its like a dance happening between the both of them in your mouth. If its the first time you're smoking i know that feeling when you’re wondering  "damn this tastes like tar" but once you get accustomed to it,nothing like it..period. When the cigarette starts to burn down you tap it.The ash falls down to the earth from whence it came.Good music added to this melange of things.Ahhh..simply serene.

Every brand has its “experience” .Like every human being unique in his/her own way , every leaf of tobacco in the cigarette plays its part.

A rainy day and a cigarette are a match made in heaven. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Gods were sitting up in their abodes smoking a pipe while its raining. The entire atmosphere created just screams at you in your ear, telling you “smoke that ciggy”. I feel the rain just amplifies that experience.

When it’s all over you stub the cigarette.  You stub it, crush the very life out of it. A companion lost in the cause of making you happy.  Then you look at what you’ve done, some feel guilty looking at that bud because of broken promises and others feel elated at the sight of it and light another one up which doesn’t really give you the same joy of that first cigarette.

P:S- The guest writer is a friend of mine- Nickil Somanna, who for some reason doesn't have a blog.  He calls this piece 'time pass' and he doesn't yet realise he can actually write

Direction

There's something about Direction that intriques me. I can't exactly say what, though. Direction is such a complex word. 'He lacks direction'-  What exactly this statement means beats me. To me, everyone has Direction or a sense of it. Everyone has goals, and it may seem comic to some, but to them- A goal is the end result of the right 'direction'. This is my view on it. What drives you to your goal? A direction. A push, so that you get going. Start 'feeling' it. And then you'll know if it's realistic or farcical. 

How you get to what you wanted at the start is not important. Your perceptions may change. One day you wake up and decide you no longer want to be just a 'somebody'. You want to be a man of your own will. Do your own things in a way that seems right to you. In the process of being something You can relate to, You know at every step that Life is such a difficult maze. It will throw you obstacles, induce fear. It will make sure you re-think. But it will help you make the last step if you're there for the ride.

But when do you stop, rather where do you stop? Or how do you know if you have to stop.

I especially like these lines from the song Different World when it comes to the above matters

                                                   

 I thought I had it all

I had it all worked out

Just what my future held

That there would be no doubt

But then the card came up

And I took another turn

But I don't know if it's

Fulfillment that I yearn.

Let's now talk about Direction in the lesser sense. Long term goals need a 'direction', one that includes realising short term ones. But what if your immediate future makes no sense? What if you're not happy now, even as you convince yourself that 'this' is a pre-requisite to What you want in the future. What if your view of the beautiful starry night is blocked because it's cloudy.

Is the juice worth the squeeze then?:P

Traffic

A few people once told me that I would eventually love Bangalore. I seriously do not like living here. I do not feel at home. The air seriously is different. There are times when you're standing suffocated in a crowded bus, and you actually gasp for air. There are times when I wait by the side of the road for more than half an hour and just wait some more as the crowded Public transport passes me by. After a long wait, with my thoughts set on just getting a move on, if luck is on my side, I finally catch a Bus that has a seat to offer me, which, trust me, is a rarity.

Once on the bus, I plug in my player and close my eyes. The gentle breeze floating across the open window feels good on my face. It is for exactly this I am willing to wait a while for. If it wasn't for the seat, I would end the day the same way I end most days, albeit, with a headache. It takes around an hour and a half to get to work. At those bottleneck junctions, you will see all kinds of people. Selling newspapers, bangles, flowers, etc. You will spot a few 'hijras'. If you're not lucky to catch a bus, you eventually end up taking a cab. And you do not want to be sitting next to the Driver as a hijra walks by. You have a false sense of security and ego. You almost convince yourself to not pay up. It's impossible. There goes the 10 bucks that you wanted to use at the next bus stop.

Most times, we end up in a stand-still at a Railway crossing every morning. I count the number of bogeys as the goods train breezes by. You can actually sense other people counting too. 49 I say, but the guy next to me says 48. You actually wonder where you went wrong. It's a nice moment. Masks the hell that Bangalore Traffic is all about. Sometimes you wish Traffic is bad. 'Cause that's when you can take a nice nap or listen to some timeless songs.  
But the days the traffic is bad are the days you have to get to work early.

~

The Light morning drizzle,

Why not take a swivel?

The sun through the clouds,

both the quiets and louds.

The smell of wet Earth,

And everything that's worth.

Wet Grass and dew,

Is everything to rue.

The waves and shore,

The beach and even more.

The sky and its shades,

But our vision fades.

The stars in the night,

Are beacons of light.

Dreams of a distant land,

Faces in the sand.

Mountains standing tall,

Fathering avalanches that fall.

The white of the snow,

But the dark is a blow.

Yin and Yang,

The little birds sang.

Birds of Life,

And all that is rife.

Random-4

Due the bad hit I've taken with respect to the lack of 'Creative Juices', I will stick to something Random for this post. Have fun reading!

• Have you guys seen that 'Do not touch' nonsensical add? There's a good chance it's the worst add ever made. It is so very irritating. I seriously don't know what they're promoting. If it is a touch-screen, it is to be touched. If you want to get someone paranoid,lock him up somewhere and keep playing this add. Seriously. I'd rather watch 'The Clockwork Orange' of the Stanley Kubrick fame than this again.
• Yup, 'The Clockwork Orange' is the worst movie ever made. But Please watch to gauge for yourself.
• Speaking of Kubrick, I don't GET his movies! Watch 'Eyes Wide Shut' and you'll appreciate why people use WTF a lot!
• when a relative gives me money i refuse, but inside im like YESSSS. Please visit if you want to evoke a WTF reaction. Isn't it obvious?
• Here's another-"Omg they broke up!".. "Dont worry they will be back to...ohh see their already going out again." Who gives a flying fuck? Can't believe such a page even exists. It's they're and not their. Retards:P
• If you google 'Bangalore Palace', and pull up the wiki, towards the end of the article you'll see a line that goes- 'David Gilmour is supposed to perform on 18 August 2010'. For all the ardent Gilmour fans rueing this missed opportunity, Relax. It never happened.
• Has anyone heard of the giggle loop? Check this out, it's hilarious. It reminds me of the time in school when we're asked to observe a minute's silence but we just can't stand the silence. Our insides are itching so badly that we just have to let it out!. Sigh. Those were the days!
• I hate how people fight over the bill after a nice dinner. It's just pointless. Eventually the bill has to paid so might as well decide who is paying before going. If only the male ego would be more agreeable, perhaps?
• Have you gone up to a  random Girl and directly asked for her number? I have. Let's just leave it at that:P  

Perceptions

It's been a while. I've really become very lazy when it comes to posting a Blog post. Whenever I sit in front of the computer, trying to think of something to write, I'm overshadowed by an empowering emotion of sorts. Sub-consciously, I'm told to not write. So I leave it at that. But today is different. I've decided that I'm watching too much Entourage:) I've watched 35 something episodes in 3 days. That's a lot. 
Okay, first off, I feel like bitching about Murphy. He's always screwing things up for me. I wrapped up work early on Thursday and managed to convince my Manager for a  'casual leave', for Friday, which he was more than willing to give. So I decided to hop on the Bus and make it home as soon as I could (Mysore obviously).
It was around 4 by the time I got to Hebbal. There was an ISKON kiosk put up near the Bus Stop, and some guy there asked me for two minutes of my time. He then went on about Vedas and Spirituality and religion, all things I couldn't care less about. (Unless there's a VTU exam). He then told me that in order for someone to able to be qualified to chant the 'Hare Krishna' mantra, he must have studied loads of religious things. Okay, first off, How does this concern me and my life? He went on and on for 15 min. I didn't want to tell him off too. I was feigning interest. I finally decided to buy a book on Life/Religion/Science for 50 bucks. Turns out I lost the book. 
Anyway, It started pouring soon so it took me a while to make it to Majestic. Once there, I coudn't miss eating at KFC before leaving. (Even a guy on parole with no cash would love eating there, even if it means he has to rob someone).
It was 5.30 by the time I was done. I called S.F to ask if there were any trains leaving for Mys around that time. Turns out there was one at 6.15. I made a dash for it. It was 6 by the time I managed a ticket. Some guy near the counter had a Ticket to Mys he didn't want. Ticket price was 42/-. I gave him 45 and waited as he patiently looked around for change. It was already late, and I sure as hell didn't want to stand on the Train. (Should have asked for the change. Murphy aggain!!! You'll know why soon).


All the compartments were full. People were sitting in the aisles, standing near the toilets. It was mayhem. I hopped into the reservation compartment. I found a seat empty. Seat number 62. Turns out someone had already reserved that seat. C'est la vie, I thought, but decided that there's no way I'm standing:D


So I went to the A.C compartment and told the T.C 'swalpa adjust maadi'. I had to Pay him 153 bucks extra. I gave him a 200 and He sheepishly said He'd give me 47 bucks later. It got me thinking. What if the guy ends up not giving back? My head and the crazy thoughts whirling inside it. I even 'presumed' that he wouldn't give it. It was a very easy thing to do, running away with money.So I went to the extent of going through what I would complain about once I reached Mysore. It was around 8.30 and there was still no sign of him. If only I'd taken the 3 bucks change earlier. The T.C would have given me a 50. The smile and it's wickedness kept coming back. 
Soon, there was a tap on my shoulder and the T.C, with his same sheepish look, gave me 46 bucks change. Only this time, his smile was genuine. 
You see how the same smile presents two faces.


P.S-This post is for all with a clear conscience. Maybe Murphy does screw things up for you, and it's to accentuate  such situations. It's also a reminder to us all that there are good people out there. Stop Presuming!

Up above me there's a few electric cables hanging haphazardly against the backdrop of the night sky. A few birds meander about. It is generally quiet. In the distance I can see the tail-lights of an aeroplane.Moving slowly yet rapidly. It kind of gives you a perspective of the vastness of the sky.. There's hardly any stars. The floating clouds are grey. Like foam from a soap bar when you wash your hands. They're warning you with the smell of rain drops in the air. You're listening to 'The hero of the day' by Metallica and wondering who this 'hero' is?
The sky, the lights, the imposing skyline, the dogs barking incessantly on the streets, or something else.
Something larger than life itself, you wonder. For just one second you picture what you actually can be as opposed to what you are. And then you realise that it's all out there if you need it. You have to ask yourself how badly you need it. There are some things that can't be quantified. Your dreams are in your hands. Just make sure it doesn't slip away and 'blend' with the distant stars or the deepest oceans. Just remember that the waves still hit the beach. So find the right tide, and hop on for the ride. If you meet an obstacle, bypass it or strike at its heart. If you can't do it, then hope. For hope will never fail you, if there ever is a God..

P:S- written under the influence of a pitcher of beer, on 12-08-2010 at 19:51

This one has no title!

Okay, first things first. I have a lot to write about. I don't quite know where or how to start, for I fear that my deranged mind will give way. I'd have to say that last week was the most easy for me, ever (Relatively speaking). I didn't have much work. Hardly worked 20 hours in total, and the beauty of it is I'm getting paid. So no complains on the job front. Except maybe the fact that my work location hasn't been finalised. It's a dicey situation. 'Cause we all know how travelling in B'lore can be quite the Bitch! 
I can safely say that I've mastered the art of climbing a bus and finding a seat. Here's a word of advice for you all-

1.  Survey the area near the bus stop. Factor in things like the number of people waiting, the number you feel are too keen to jump into the bus as soon as it arrives, and also how you generally 'feel' about making a run for it!
2. Next, spot the bus rolling into the right platform. This step is critical, and can make a world of difference. The faster you spot it, the quicker you can react.
3. Move swiftly across and stand right in front of the door. As it opens, act like a gentleman and disallow people from jumping in. Wait for those inside to move out. The first part is more important :D
4. As soon as the last person has exited, the adrenalin rush kicks in. It will come, just be patient. Murphy's law will not fail you now. Just run across the aisle and sit on the first seat you get.
5. Make sure It isn't for senior citizens, the handicapped or ladies. If you still don't make it, proceed slowly to the back of the bus.
6. Ask the men sitting around you where they're getting off. Plan accordingly.
7. Plug in your mp3 player and listen away. The bus will sway.:p

The next thing to do is prepare yourself for the hour and a half long journey. Now, it's really fine if you just want to listen to music, but you'll be missing out on loads of fun. For instance, just pause your player for a minute and listen to the conductor arguing with a passenger for correct change. Or sometimes, if you're lucky, you'd start noticing a trend. A powerful and dismissive voice that goes- 'Change illa'. Now you know you shouldn't mess with the conductor. So you make it a point to tender correct 'change' every single time. You will also see loads of people speaking loudly on the phone. Telling weird stories and using curse words. If you're very observant, you will see few heads turn around. As though it's a sin to use profanity and as though the turned heads have never used it. :D

As you approach Koramangala, you will convince yourself to wake up from your self imposed sleep. For you don't want to miss out on the horde of chicks walking by, in those tight levi jeans. You then wonder where to look, cause you want to take it all in. You're almost overwhelmed.

You see a marvelous ass, but then another that beats the 'ass' out of the previous ass.  

Now your mind has been transported into another World. One outside the bus, and one that presents a realm of opportunities. But then you curse God and that hopeless conductor for calling out that it's your stop. Now you have to report for work. You really hope that the next time, those pickpockets run away with the conductor's bag. Isn't that the easier option?, you wonder, as you walk away..